I think -- and your reference-counting in the above thread helped somewhat in this -- that it's not necessarily the frequency of the terms, but the way the scenes are framed. Both with the midnight chat and the very end of the chapter, there's a strong undercurrent of "oh god, they're KIDS" which intensifies the rest of the terminology. So I think it's okay to take out most of that in order to keep the scenes -- the overall scenes are more important. :D
no subject
Date: 2012-04-25 11:44 pm (UTC)