The story has definitely hit its stride here. The prison language feels natural. However, it is also confusing for someone not steeped in the lore--for example, what is an S.M.M.? Actual exposition might be distracting, but a few more context clues would really help.

I also like the way you are integrating the children's lore and the prison magic. So far, the magic in the story has not been jarring at all; it seems like a natural part of the world.

Great work, and I can't wait to read more! I almost wish I had not read the original. It spoils the ending.