End Thoughts: - I think I miss the Shakespeare machine not only because it showed a non-mechanical side of Jack (he's got to know and enjoy literature to think others would), but because Merchant was such a great story for Clare to be reading, what with Portia and her power and disguises. I believe it was the Quality of Mercy bit that she got from Jack, but what stuck with me was that Clare went home and read Merchant, and when I realized what she had been hiding I thought it was so perfect that that was what she was reading. - Very well done at condensing. If this is what it will be like, I'm not as scared to read it as I was! ;) But it flows very nicely, and I find myself not missing the parts that have been excised. Comments on the Comments: - Haha, I liked this flagrantly defying-the-rules Clare better than Sneaky Clare. This Clare has more of the definace you see in Austrailia, though Sneaky Clare shows off more of the glamour. It's a different characterization to be sure, kind of "Ask forgiveness, not permission". - Someone is a first time reader! I'll love reading this too. I've read this so much - and it was still Jack and Ellis in my head, which seems so hilarious now - that if I had a hard copy the binding would be cracked and the edged dinged and dirty. I do mean that as a compliment. - Jack is an immature young adult, but they do age through the novel (as they should). Showing him childlike here makes sense. - I agree with the something sounding off about "antic, almost manic" phrase, but I don't know what it is. - "Go on," Jack was saying, while Clare contemplated this phenomenon.” --> I had to re-read it to understand that she was talking about the room, but I got it. It was unclear to me the first time though. - Assembly scene felt University to me. The professor just felt like he happened to be there, not that that was his assigned seat. Jack was there to wrangle the kids. - FINE OKAY I get that you can't have a Shakespeare Machine. But I mean, it's not like you took it from there and it really did help with the characterization, and just cause someone did it before is not a reason to stop doing something unless it is plagarism. But it's your morals :) - Re: Clare being in trousers: I don't remember this from before, but if you're planning on keeping the part in England where she ditches dresses for trousers, it would be nice to have that here so we can see her shunning societal conventions once she is forced back into them. My .02. - "This sounds a bit to me like "Come on, Fields, I have to end this chapter."" Agreed. Possibly it could end a sentance earlier with them watching Graveworthy leave?
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End Thoughts:
- I think I miss the Shakespeare machine not only because it showed a non-mechanical side of Jack (he's got to know and enjoy literature to think others would), but because Merchant was such a great story for Clare to be reading, what with Portia and her power and disguises. I believe it was the Quality of Mercy bit that she got from Jack, but what stuck with me was that Clare went home and read Merchant, and when I realized what she had been hiding I thought it was so perfect that that was what she was reading.
- Very well done at condensing. If this is what it will be like, I'm not as scared to read it as I was! ;) But it flows very nicely, and I find myself not missing the parts that have been excised.
Comments on the Comments:
- Haha, I liked this flagrantly defying-the-rules Clare better than Sneaky Clare. This Clare has more of the definace you see in Austrailia, though Sneaky Clare shows off more of the glamour. It's a different characterization to be sure, kind of "Ask forgiveness, not permission".
- Someone is a first time reader! I'll love reading this too. I've read this so much - and it was still Jack and Ellis in my head, which seems so hilarious now - that if I had a hard copy the binding would be cracked and the edged dinged and dirty. I do mean that as a compliment.
- Jack is an immature young adult, but they do age through the novel (as they should). Showing him childlike here makes sense.
- I agree with the something sounding off about "antic, almost manic" phrase, but I don't know what it is.
- "Go on," Jack was saying, while Clare contemplated this phenomenon.” --> I had to re-read it to understand that she was talking about the room, but I got it. It was unclear to me the first time though.
- Assembly scene felt University to me. The professor just felt like he happened to be there, not that that was his assigned seat. Jack was there to wrangle the kids.
- FINE OKAY I get that you can't have a Shakespeare Machine. But I mean, it's not like you took it from there and it really did help with the characterization, and just cause someone did it before is not a reason to stop doing something unless it is plagarism. But it's your morals :)
- Re: Clare being in trousers: I don't remember this from before, but if you're planning on keeping the part in England where she ditches dresses for trousers, it would be nice to have that here so we can see her shunning societal conventions once she is forced back into them. My .02.
- "This sounds a bit to me like "Come on, Fields, I have to end this chapter."" Agreed. Possibly it could end a sentance earlier with them watching Graveworthy leave?