I started reading the older draft of this a little while ago (after reading the rest of your original work) but never got further than two chapters in. This time around however, I'm finding it captivating. The tug of the mystery and forward motion feels much stronger.

And a detail: "Jack stood and stepped over the man, who had stopped shaking but was curled in a ball and moaning every few seconds. Clare found herself wrapped in his arms, face pressed to his shoulder. He was trembling." - it's probably me reading too quickly, but I stumbled here and first thought the theif was trying to hug Clare, not Jack.