Replying to both here! :) A lot of stuff I didn't respond to, just up and fixed, but it did get fixed.
For "Catch her up" I think the problem is that in US english that reads like they're helping her -- Catch up to her, I think, I should probably use.
With the dog business, it's more that Boggle is being a big baby -- she's saying he's not hurt despite him howling and running off. I'll see if I can clarify.
I ran a search on the whole story and there is a LOT of winking. I've replaced most of them. :D
If I die, I'm the only one who knows all the books I didn't write.
You know what's funny about this bit is that at the time it was just me trying to get inside Ellis's head and see what he'd think. I wrote it before I'd done any publishing. Now...I kind of believe it.
The concern I have about "genius now" versus "genius in the now" is that "genius now" is more ambiguous -- it's easier to misread that as "Now (as opposed to previous) all I need is his genius" as opposed to "His genius at this moment is all I need". I'm torn because you're not wrong about the rhythm, but clarity trumps. A middle ground might be "his genius at this moment"? Or is it that post-genius clause that's going to throw it off no matter what?
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For "Catch her up" I think the problem is that in US english that reads like they're helping her -- Catch up to her, I think, I should probably use.
With the dog business, it's more that Boggle is being a big baby -- she's saying he's not hurt despite him howling and running off. I'll see if I can clarify.
I ran a search on the whole story and there is a LOT of winking. I've replaced most of them. :D
If I die, I'm the only one who knows all the books I didn't write.
You know what's funny about this bit is that at the time it was just me trying to get inside Ellis's head and see what he'd think. I wrote it before I'd done any publishing. Now...I kind of believe it.
The concern I have about "genius now" versus "genius in the now" is that "genius now" is more ambiguous -- it's easier to misread that as "Now (as opposed to previous) all I need is his genius" as opposed to "His genius at this moment is all I need". I'm torn because you're not wrong about the rhythm, but clarity trumps. A middle ground might be "his genius at this moment"? Or is it that post-genius clause that's going to throw it off no matter what?