Reading Notes:
- Oh Jack... if only your descent could be easy...
- "Above him, in the other bunk," --> I feel as though only one of these descriptors - or no comma - is needed to convey what is happening.
- "puddles reflecting fire back to him whenever lightning split the clouds." --> Do you need "back to him"? I stumbled over reading it, and it conveys meaning perfectly well without it.
- "The sudden stillness of the windswept landscape " --> What happened to the storm?
- "Ever so slowly, a giant fold of silk billowed past his head, lightly brushing his hair, and the giant balloon that was the pride of the Clare Fields began to collapse on the sand next to the ship." --> Again, apparently the storm stopped, but you didn't tell us when. This sounds way too calm to be still storming. The balloon would be getting hammered down, now that the weight of the rain is driving out the helium. Speaking of which, would they breathe enough for their voices to rise?
- "The wind and the driving rain didn't do them any favors as they tried to spread and weigh down the enormous folds of silk, " --> And we're back to rain.
- "Probably assume we're a shipwreck," Graveworthy answered. --> Oh right! They do look like a ship. (minus propellers?) I like the inclusion of this line.
- "after he'd finished stowing the dried silk." --> Where did he stow it? I was wondering this earlier and it didn't get answered.
- "absently picturing it alight." --> Brief glimpse into the process! I like.
- "Tell me one," he answered, smiling at her. --> There's a lot of smiling lately.
- A cliffhanger in the calmest way possible!