http://harkpad02.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] harkpad02.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] originalsam_backup 2012-05-15 02:06 am (UTC)

"Come on!" she shouted, as she whipped through the central square of the village = you don’t need the comma after shouted, really.

The document names "John Parsons", Sir Jack's alias during the Canberra Revolt of 1872, as the intended signator. = doesn’t the comma after Parsons go inside the quotation marks?

Kick-ass prison scene, Sam. Seriously. I love the historical document after the signing in blood. I was trying to explain to someone the other day how you're using these documents in your story and they said, "doesn't that get confusing?" and I laughed. They are so cool. This one especially.

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