I find the whole Non-storyline somewhat unbelievable. So far, all of the characters have talked about what a good writer Non is, but I don't feel like I've really seen that in his blog entries. Also, is his audience mainly people in the non-profit field, or the general population? Half the time it seems like he's writing for the first audience, but half the time it seems like he's writing for the second. Finally, we're in the second chapter, and the characters have had several conversations about Non, all of which seem to follow essentially the same pattern, I'd like to see a little more variety.
I really like the dialogue in this chapter. It just pops perfectly. Also, while I agree with some of the criticisms of the section from John's POV above, I feel like I have a lot better hook on his character now.
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Date: 2010-01-18 03:49 am (UTC)I really like the dialogue in this chapter. It just pops perfectly. Also, while I agree with some of the criticisms of the section from John's POV above, I feel like I have a lot better hook on his character now.