Okay, I have in fact only come to read the whole damn thing this morning, and I...cannot remember which notes you said you were already responding to--I remember something about women's hairstyles?--but in general, I would like to reinforce or whatever that lesson, because I am five chapters in, having read them all in one go so that there is no disconnect, and I still mix up who is who. I would suggest stamping them a little more aggressively with their jobs in the first chapter, maybe? Or possibly moving the "at-home" sequence a little further forward in the story, so I can identify their personalities by homelife? Except I do love the various dates and they don't work earlier? I am being Question Mark Girl, aren't I?
Sorry.
That said, I do love the haphazard office environment, the cheerfully hating-their-jobs coworkers, the printer issues, and Sparks, who is charming most of the time and intelligent when he forgets to be that. I am intrigued by the developing plot, and amused by John and Cee, and thoroughly, thoroughly amused by Bolo and his impression that stories are punctuated by ROLL FOR DAMAGE.
Also I have been won over to Hanna and her survival and her ambitions.
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Date: 2010-01-22 04:22 pm (UTC)Sorry.
That said, I do love the haphazard office environment, the cheerfully hating-their-jobs coworkers, the printer issues, and Sparks, who is charming most of the time and intelligent when he forgets to be that. I am intrigued by the developing plot, and amused by John and Cee, and thoroughly, thoroughly amused by Bolo and his impression that stories are punctuated by ROLL FOR DAMAGE.
Also I have been won over to Hanna and her survival and her ambitions.