Hee, I adore Sparks and his double life. I bet he chose to be called Bo on purpose, too. He's like Batman! I'm not sure Ian is Non anymore.
That said, I think you might have gone too far with the ensemble cast POV thing. I'm not a huge fan of it in novels generally, I like it in media with visual elements so I can remember who everyone is, but I think here in particular it doesn't work well with your writing style. You write very directly, almost conversationally, which I like, but it just emphasizes the whiplash when we switch between a lot of different POVs so often. A more descriptive style might cushion it a little - although even then, I would say THIS many POVs was overreaching. We just don't have time to settle into any one head before we're flitting off into another. This kind of keeping up with everyone, meanwhile back at HQ technique is really a staple of the TV show, perhaps the movie and the comic too. I don't think it works as well in a novel as a narrower group of perspectives might - when we read we imagine ourselves in the characters' heads, and we need to get comfortable in those heads for it to work properly. This feels like I'm a waitress balancing five plates and a jug on my way to a table.
Which is a pity because I kind of really like most of these characters - I just can't get a grip on any of them except Ian and Sparks, and Sparks best from another character's eyes.
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Date: 2010-01-23 02:20 pm (UTC)That said, I think you might have gone too far with the ensemble cast POV thing. I'm not a huge fan of it in novels generally, I like it in media with visual elements so I can remember who everyone is, but I think here in particular it doesn't work well with your writing style. You write very directly, almost conversationally, which I like, but it just emphasizes the whiplash when we switch between a lot of different POVs so often. A more descriptive style might cushion it a little - although even then, I would say THIS many POVs was overreaching. We just don't have time to settle into any one head before we're flitting off into another. This kind of keeping up with everyone, meanwhile back at HQ technique is really a staple of the TV show, perhaps the movie and the comic too. I don't think it works as well in a novel as a narrower group of perspectives might - when we read we imagine ourselves in the characters' heads, and we need to get comfortable in those heads for it to work properly. This feels like I'm a waitress balancing five plates and a jug on my way to a table.
Which is a pity because I kind of really like most of these characters - I just can't get a grip on any of them except Ian and Sparks, and Sparks best from another character's eyes.