Incidentally, it's only been a few weeks since I got around to reading the first draft, so I remember it rather well. I see a lot of improvements ... though I'm mildly disappointed that UNION ARMS gets a name so soon in this version (I found that rather amusing the first time around), but it does make sense that Sparks would introduce him.
The following sentence confused me a little: Zoe smiled at her and traded her a glass of wine for the paper bag she'd been carrying. Is it just me or does that sound as if Zoe were giving the glass to Roxy instead of the other way around?
Also, I'm not sure if it's possible to slyly adjust chopsticks.
On to the next chapter! I'm oddly excited, considering that I already know this.
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Date: 2010-10-01 06:01 pm (UTC)The following sentence confused me a little: Zoe smiled at her and traded her a glass of wine for the paper bag she'd been carrying. Is it just me or does that sound as if Zoe were giving the glass to Roxy instead of the other way around?
Also, I'm not sure if it's possible to slyly adjust chopsticks.
On to the next chapter! I'm oddly excited, considering that I already know this.