Made most of the changes you suggested, or at any rate something like them :D In re the Italian conversation, it's in some sense meant to be easily skippable -- I have a note to provide translation at the end of the book, in the final cut, but really there's nothing important, it's just to show how comfortable Colin is with the Italians. Still, I'll look into that. Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2011-01-11 06:55 pm (UTC)