- It still kind of irks me that Gutierrez and Galeno both begin with a G. I'm fine with Joseph (though to me it conveys a softer image than a hard cop or a Dom in the bedroom), but all the G's are getting to me. - "You could almost see the entire society in the way people moved, how the debts and payments racked up, how the pecking order shifted." Love that line.
- And that is all I wrote. I loved this chapter. It just kept flowing, and besides that one Italian bit the information was all doled out in just the right way. I loved the reveal of Leoni wanting Colin to kill Galeno, although I felt it could have been built up to more. I know we got the mention with the photograph, but I don't know anything more specific about why Galano and Colin want each other dead.
Getting Laney into their little group - I can't wait to see more of what he does with his mojo. I also have a feeling Noel is going to surprise us all.
This chapter is when I think the story really starts to hit it's stride - the major structures and characters have been established, we care about the people and situations, and now we're along for the ride.
I like how the seeping out of the first tattoo is like Colin shedding his Outside skin and the prisonworld coming back and his mojo showing up strong.
Joseph's second shadow - the emergence of the Shade - gave me the chills. Half due to the world you've built, and half due to the Library episode of Doctor Who. I also like the guard-Knowing mojo. I like Aaron, his fortune-fate made me sad.
Comments: - What you say is a nonsense sentence actually clarified the guard-Knowing for me. I mean awkwardly phrased, yes, but it clarified things for me. That Colin had to work for an awareness that other people just Had and Knew, and even then he didn't know how how much he was lacking until now. - I had to look up Odin's Cross too - I think it's another thing that might go nicely in an appendix.
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Date: 2011-01-13 02:19 am (UTC)- "You could almost see the entire society in the way people moved, how the debts and payments racked up, how the pecking order shifted." Love that line.
- And that is all I wrote. I loved this chapter. It just kept flowing, and besides that one Italian bit the information was all doled out in just the right way. I loved the reveal of Leoni wanting Colin to kill Galeno, although I felt it could have been built up to more. I know we got the mention with the photograph, but I don't know anything more specific about why Galano and Colin want each other dead.
Getting Laney into their little group - I can't wait to see more of what he does with his mojo. I also have a feeling Noel is going to surprise us all.
This chapter is when I think the story really starts to hit it's stride - the major structures and characters have been established, we care about the people and situations, and now we're along for the ride.
I like how the seeping out of the first tattoo is like Colin shedding his Outside skin and the prisonworld coming back and his mojo showing up strong.
Joseph's second shadow - the emergence of the Shade - gave me the chills. Half due to the world you've built, and half due to the Library episode of Doctor Who. I also like the guard-Knowing mojo. I like Aaron, his fortune-fate made me sad.
Comments:
- What you say is a nonsense sentence actually clarified the guard-Knowing for me. I mean awkwardly phrased, yes, but it clarified things for me. That Colin had to work for an awareness that other people just Had and Knew, and even then he didn't know how how much he was lacking until now.
- I had to look up Odin's Cross too - I think it's another thing that might go nicely in an appendix.
tl; DR? Chapter = Woo! Yay!