Things I loved about this chapter: -Glass and salt and crystal. Incredibly vivid. -The pacing. I was surprised to see this was the last chapter, but it didn't feel uncomfortably rushed or anything. -Pretty much everyone--Analise and Laney and Joseph were my favorites here. :)
A couple of things in this chapter felt like they came out of nowhere to me (although they are gradually working more as I write, so it might just be me): -Revenge!Colin. I'd guessed much earlier that Galano had killed Grace, and that that was why (or one of the main reasons) that Colin hated him so personally, but Colin orchestrating this whole thing for vengeance was not something I saw coming. -Lackey!Galano-I love love love him being just an instrument of Darkman's plan, but I'm strangely worried about him losing agency for his own (shallow and egomaniacal) evilness, if that makes any sense. I wasn't really clear if he made some sort of deal with Darkman, or was unwillingly possessed by Darkman, or what.
This whole story is fantastic, though. I'm really excited already about what the rewrite will look like.
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Date: 2011-01-20 05:34 pm (UTC)Things I loved about this chapter:
-Glass and salt and crystal. Incredibly vivid.
-The pacing. I was surprised to see this was the last chapter, but it didn't feel uncomfortably rushed or anything.
-Pretty much everyone--Analise and Laney and Joseph were my favorites here. :)
A couple of things in this chapter felt like they came out of nowhere to me (although they are gradually working more as I write, so it might just be me):
-Revenge!Colin. I'd guessed much earlier that Galano had killed Grace, and that that was why (or one of the main reasons) that Colin hated him so personally, but Colin orchestrating this whole thing for vengeance was not something I saw coming.
-Lackey!Galano-I love love love him being just an instrument of Darkman's plan, but I'm strangely worried about him losing agency for his own (shallow and egomaniacal) evilness, if that makes any sense. I wasn't really clear if he made some sort of deal with Darkman, or was unwillingly possessed by Darkman, or what.
This whole story is fantastic, though. I'm really excited already about what the rewrite will look like.