I love this chapter so much. The conversation in the middle of the night is so very lovely. And "big potatoes."
I was wondering about the constant references to how young Jack and Clare are that chicleeblair brought up.
While the youthful references don't bug me so much, the actual use of the word 'children' several times kinda does. I understand why you want to point out the age differences, particularly between Ellis and Clare, and Ellis is supposed to be an old soul, beyond his 34 years, so maybe it's just the build-up of the old-soul persona so that when Clare breaks through it later things will be more dramatic. I am torn on this issue, but I wanted to point out that, like chicleeblair, I certainly noticed it. For some reason "social maturity of a six-year-old" jarred me on both of my readings. Jack is introverted and reminds me of a young boy of about eleven or twelve who is obsessed with his current hobby (for my nephew it's Legos) and doesn't bother too much with grownups. But six? I always wondered if that would read better simply by raising the age a bit. Even eight or nine. Just one line, but maybe that is what drives home the seemingly overuse of the children references. (I totally love the last line of the chapter, though.)
On a more positive note, the line "They're like cats." Has made me grin from ear to ear each time I've read it. I love that. And when this is published I'm going to take the .pdf file and cut and paste a private copy that is just called "Magical Jack Baker Moments" for me to read over and over again. The scene in the garden house will definitely be in that version.
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Date: 2012-04-24 06:15 pm (UTC)I was wondering about the constant references to how young Jack and Clare are that chicleeblair brought up.
While the youthful references don't bug me so much, the actual use of the word 'children' several times kinda does. I understand why you want to point out the age differences, particularly between Ellis and Clare, and Ellis is supposed to be an old soul, beyond his 34 years, so maybe it's just the build-up of the old-soul persona so that when Clare breaks through it later things will be more dramatic. I am torn on this issue, but I wanted to point out that, like chicleeblair, I certainly noticed it. For some reason "social maturity of a six-year-old" jarred me on both of my readings. Jack is introverted and reminds me of a young boy of about eleven or twelve who is obsessed with his current hobby (for my nephew it's Legos) and doesn't bother too much with grownups. But six? I always wondered if that would read better simply by raising the age a bit. Even eight or nine. Just one line, but maybe that is what drives home the seemingly overuse of the children references. (I totally love the last line of the chapter, though.)
On a more positive note, the line "They're like cats." Has made me grin from ear to ear each time I've read it. I love that. And when this is published I'm going to take the .pdf file and cut and paste a private copy that is just called "Magical Jack Baker Moments" for me to read over and over again. The scene in the garden house will definitely be in that version.