I agree with what the people above me have said about the constant references to how young Jack and Clare are. We get it, although it's fine in that final scene in the leaves.
Along those same lines, the girl that meets them at the docks threw me a bit when she said that she was fifteen. I was picturing a girl around eight, going by the description. Maybe change "girl" to "young woman?"
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Date: 2012-04-24 06:46 pm (UTC)Along those same lines, the girl that meets them at the docks threw me a bit when she said that she was fifteen. I was picturing a girl around eight, going by the description. Maybe change "girl" to "young woman?"