This chapter has Nicolas doing a lot of activity, and I always pictured him older, very "Alfred". So, needs more description (as you've heard a few times)? :)
It seems kind of dangerous to launch after only one test flight. But I understand the pressure they are under. A comment about that would let me know that the characters fear for their life and have thought of that too.
I'd also have expected more fan fair for the launch. I speech or toast or something from the Princess. Some comment between Ellis and Anderson. I'd like more excitement from the spies. If not excitement, at least more fear.
I am wondering how they are seeing each other once they are aloft, the moon maybe? Also I'd have thought Ellis would take the bottom bunk, less distance to fall (but that is horribly nit-picky--just my thoughts).
"it bears a more flourishing hand than his later, more economical script." should the be 'flourished hand'?
"if I seek out a few friendly tars and share some tobacco" should that be 'friendly bars'? If not, I'm not sure what a tar is.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-05-01 09:43 pm (UTC)It seems kind of dangerous to launch after only one test flight. But I understand the pressure they are under. A comment about that would let me know that the characters fear for their life and have thought of that too.
I'd also have expected more fan fair for the launch. I speech or toast or something from the Princess. Some comment between Ellis and Anderson. I'd like more excitement from the spies. If not excitement, at least more fear.
I am wondering how they are seeing each other once they are aloft, the moon maybe? Also I'd have thought Ellis would take the bottom bunk, less distance to fall (but that is horribly nit-picky--just my thoughts).
"it bears a more flourishing hand than his later, more economical script." should the be 'flourished hand'?
"if I seek out a few friendly tars and share some tobacco" should that be 'friendly bars'? If not, I'm not sure what a tar is.