I'm interested in the implications of Ellis lighting that fire. Exciting!
I found the end a little confusing because the paragraph makes it seem like he's simply tired and falling asleep but then the last sentence has him slipping into fever. Any way to make it sound a little more feverish before you tell us outright?
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Date: 2012-05-04 12:21 am (UTC)I found the end a little confusing because the paragraph makes it seem like he's simply tired and falling asleep but then the last sentence has him slipping into fever. Any way to make it sound a little more feverish before you tell us outright?