End: Great chapter, and though I had a few logistical storm questions I liked the ending bit. It certainly has lots of forward momentum. Knowing there are only about ten chapters to go makes me anxious, as I feel like there is so much to cover. I think this story is a perfect example of the cliche, "It's about the journey as much as the destination", because in this situation it very much is. If you were to start the story here, it would be so much less rich. Although in my head, if you were to divide it into two halfs, this is (and always has been) the point of division, even moreso than the landing itself. So much has been built up to the moment of Ellis losing his creation, losing this part of himself, that it truly signals a change and signals We Are Somewhere Else (/We're not in Kansas anymore). Because really, until this point, they were on a beach like any other beach they had not visited before. This makes it Different.
Meta: - It's short, but there is a lot that happens in this chapter. I was hoping you wouldn't cut the fever, because it shows so nicely the Creation disappearing - and truthfully, it's nice to see it means a little more to Ellis than he thought, as well as that we've been hearing about the Bad of it leaving others. - I didn't read the longly nights sentance as nights on the airship, but rather throughout Ellis's life. I like the broadness of that generalization, and the image of Ellis crouched around a fire coaxing out stories from reticent travellers. - Another reason the Airship could need to be Engineered - maybe Anderson wasn't always the man for the job, or they weren't sure they could trust his loyallty. Or the Crown just didn't know how a Creationist would react after being away so long. I suppose, in short, that there are enough reasons that can be extrapolated from the story that it's not a worry :) - I didn't realize that Ellis and Jack slept in the Coal Shed. In my head, there was a general Belowdeck that housed the supplies, bedchambers, etc. Thus the mention of the coal shed threw me, but I went with it.
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Date: 2012-05-22 06:58 pm (UTC)Great chapter, and though I had a few logistical storm questions I liked the ending bit. It certainly has lots of forward momentum. Knowing there are only about ten chapters to go makes me anxious, as I feel like there is so much to cover. I think this story is a perfect example of the cliche, "It's about the journey as much as the destination", because in this situation it very much is. If you were to start the story here, it would be so much less rich. Although in my head, if you were to divide it into two halfs, this is (and always has been) the point of division, even moreso than the landing itself. So much has been built up to the moment of Ellis losing his creation, losing this part of himself, that it truly signals a change and signals We Are Somewhere Else (/We're not in Kansas anymore). Because really, until this point, they were on a beach like any other beach they had not visited before. This makes it Different.
Meta:
- It's short, but there is a lot that happens in this chapter. I was hoping you wouldn't cut the fever, because it shows so nicely the Creation disappearing - and truthfully, it's nice to see it means a little more to Ellis than he thought, as well as that we've been hearing about the Bad of it leaving others.
- I didn't read the longly nights sentance as nights on the airship, but rather throughout Ellis's life. I like the broadness of that generalization, and the image of Ellis crouched around a fire coaxing out stories from reticent travellers.
- Another reason the Airship could need to be Engineered - maybe Anderson wasn't always the man for the job, or they weren't sure they could trust his loyallty. Or the Crown just didn't know how a Creationist would react after being away so long. I suppose, in short, that there are enough reasons that can be extrapolated from the story that it's not a worry :)
- I didn't realize that Ellis and Jack slept in the Coal Shed. In my head, there was a general Belowdeck that housed the supplies, bedchambers, etc. Thus the mention of the coal shed threw me, but I went with it.