He looked faintly ridiculous, but better absurd than dead. As he no doubt would have observed.
I would make that one sentence with a comma in the middle.
"This is an outrage!" finally, a reaction -- Bell, of course, shoving ineffectively against the shields surrounding him. "Some tinpot dictator with a few Tribals -- "
That should definitely be its own sentence with a capital F.
Your expatriates can come back too
I'd put a comma before too.
"Murra," that was Ellis, looking worried.
Murra is its own sentence there, so it should have a full stop and a capital t on That.
Although there was a body beyond them, a horrible body with the top of its head missing.
And Clare, taut with rage, face incandescent with it, blood -- oh, probably his, sad thought -- on her shirt, standing face to face with Bell.
"You shot my brother!" she raged. Jack smiled, pleased that she thought of him that way.
I think you meant that he shot Jack, but it sounds like the headless body is Memory. The fact that Memory isn't mentioned again makes that more confusing.
"Parliament's going to reopen.
Lowercase p, it's part of the previous sentence.
pitch woo
...I have no idea what that means. Maybe it's just me.
I love the ending. I love the book. I am super happy that there is a paper copy in my future.
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Date: 2012-05-17 03:43 pm (UTC)I would make that one sentence with a comma in the middle.
"This is an outrage!" finally, a reaction -- Bell, of course, shoving ineffectively against the shields surrounding him. "Some tinpot dictator with a few Tribals -- "
That should definitely be its own sentence with a capital F.
Your expatriates can come back too
I'd put a comma before too.
"Murra," that was Ellis, looking worried.
Murra is its own sentence there, so it should have a full stop and a capital t on That.
Although there was a body beyond them, a horrible body with the top of its head missing.
And Clare, taut with rage, face incandescent with it, blood -- oh, probably his, sad thought -- on her shirt, standing face to face with Bell.
"You shot my brother!" she raged. Jack smiled, pleased that she thought of him that way.
I think you meant that he shot Jack, but it sounds like the headless body is Memory. The fact that Memory isn't mentioned again makes that more confusing.
"Parliament's going to reopen.
Lowercase p, it's part of the previous sentence.
pitch woo
...I have no idea what that means. Maybe it's just me.
I love the ending. I love the book. I am super happy that there is a paper copy in my future.